Often, I get an idea, maybe to record a video, perhaps to write an article, perhaps to start up a new project. But instead of just doing it, I start to feel self-conscious. I assume people won’t like it. I get confused. I feel like it has to be perfect. I tell myself I’m going to think about it, and later, I forget about it and move on. Often, I tell myself that my creativity has to align with my morals and ethics. I have to think about what I say before I say it out loud. I hear other people’s criticisms before I’ve even finished the sentence. What if they misunderstand me? What if I say it and then change my mind? What if I’m presented with facts or opinions that contradict my personal experience?
Creative shame is extremely common. The popular MBTI test asserts that up to 80% of the population struggles with their intuition, change, and the ideation process. The more scientific Big Five model argues that 16% score high on Openness to Experience, while 68% fall somewhere in the middle. The general idea is that creativity is a rare trait reserved for a small minority of people. The thought of being creative - of sharing ideas - of suggesting change feels scary and uncomfortable. Even if you’re open to others’ ideas, you might feel hesitant to express or share your own. When you try to have ideas, your creative filter shoots them down. Maybe you sit and stare at a white piece of paper forever. Maybe you scribble something down, and then immediately erase it.
That’s why so many choose to remain in a comfortable bubble, keeping to traditions, sticking to conventions, staying within sometimes-defined, often-vague rules or limitations. Most of the expectations you have about your creativity and your ideas are wrong. You’re being unfair to yourself. You’re expecting too much, too fast. Creative shame is a deeper problem that affects most people, most of the time. It makes us raise walls around ourselves and our institutions. It makes us hide behind masks. It makes us filter ourselves around others. Worst-case scenario? You walk around with brilliant ideas that you never share with the world. Nobody will ever know the potential hidden inside you. Maybe you’ll think you’re alone in having these big, grand ideas. Why do we find the act of expressing and initiating new ideas so difficult? Let’s talk about creative shame.
I could think of a million excuses not to express my intuition:
I wasn’t good enough
I didn’t have the necessary skills to implement the idea
I was only allowed to do it if I could do it perfectly.
I thought that if someone criticized my ideas or laughed at them, that would humiliate me.
I was only allowed to pursue it if I knew I would complete it with absolute certainty
I had to think of all the potential problems with an idea before I was allowed to pursue it.
I wasn’t allowed to talk about it with other people until I could explain it clearly
If I did let an idea slip, other people would steal it and do it better than I would.
My ideas were probably “too weird” or “crazy” and would probably “never work in reality.”
These are just some of those “intuitive excuses” we can all engage in. It makes us appear more traditional. It boxes us in. It makes us hide our thoughts and ideas from friends and loved ones who could help us. It makes us feel weird or different from others.
At the same time, creativity is the very thing that could free us from these feelings. In creativity, we have a chance to genuinely connect with people. In creativity, we free ourselves from false limits. In creativity, we unlock humor, freedom, and authentic self-expression. The opposite of creative shame is creative inspiration, a state in which we give ourselves over to our ideas. A playful state where we accept and give room for our ideas to grow. A state of seeing and recognizing the potential and embracing the process.
The problem with creative shame
Creative shame doesn’t just cause us to judge ourselves for our own idea. Worst-case scenario, we start projecting this shame onto others. If someone else dares to share their ideas - to write a book - to start a new project - we can become dismissive. “That book sucks,” we might say. “That’s the worst movie I’ve ever seen.” or “That project is going to fail”.
We judge others for their creativity because we judge ourselves for ours. Why are they allowed to do it when we’re not? Do they think they’re somehow better than me? It can make us compare ourselves to others. It can make us laugh at others. It can make us look down on or question people who dare to look outside the box. But even if you don’t, you may still hold other people back.
We might think we’re just protecting the other person. “I’m just saying this because I don’t want you to get hurt chasing an idea that won’t work out.” or “I’m just criticizing you to protect you from the negative feedback you’re bound to get from other people.” The outcome is that your friends stop sharing their ideas with you, out of shame, out of the same fear you projected onto them.
Regardless, we’re engaged in conservative behavior, and we’re holding back and standing in the way of change and the intuitive process.
The myth of the creative genius
We often applaud “the great creatives” of our time. We describe them as if they were born with exceptional genius, seen only in less than a percent of the world, and we make creativity into an act only allowed by an exclusive club of gifted artists. These individuals are described as perfect creatives, flawless in execution and ability. But genius does not hold up to scrutiny. We’re all humans. Nobody is perfect.
Meanwhile, a small minority pushes on, working to prove themselves, wishing to become a part of that club, to one day demonstrate intuitive ideas that are accepted and praised by the great community around them. Impostor syndrome strikes regularly. Maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe I don’t have what it takes. Creative shame strikes again.
You might think: If I don’t get funding for my business, if I don’t get enough customers, if I don’t get enough views on my posts, if I don’t manage to sell my work, I have failed as an artist and creative. Perhaps you’ll find your feelings on a spectrum of “my work is just misunderstood and one day, people will see” to “I’m a failed creative who will never create something of real value to the world.”
The real problem? You’re measuring yourself up to an ideal that doesn’t exist in the real world. Most “Modern-day Da Vincis” are highly scrutinized people, and their ideas and work are regularly questioned in the news. They’re not better than anyone else - they’re humans like the rest of us.
The world can’t be divided into those who have the Creative Gift and those who don’t. You don’t have to prove your ideas are more valuable than others, you don’t have to compare yourself with others, and you don’t need to achieve exceptional fame. You’re allowed to express your creativity regardless of your level or ability, and regardless of who will engage with it.
Creative shame can’t be resolved by becoming a “better creative,” “working on yourself,” or improving your creative abilities. It will not feel better once you start getting more views on your posts or if you start increasing your sales. Creative workers continue to struggle with the same feelings of creative shame, even if they become successful. They feel that it was a fluke. They feel that they don’t deserve it. They feel that they are not worthy.
Popular examples of creativity are inaccurate and stereotypical
There is a big problem with how our society describes and treats creative expression. For example, we put a lot of pressure on creatives to monetize their creativity or make a creative hobby into a successful career. There’s the tendency to put creative people on a pedestal. There’s a tendency to make creativity seem like a genetic trait someone was born with rather than a skill they cultivated over the years.
Society often celebrates creativity only when it has been successful. We tend to ignore or forget how long it took to develop an idea. We forget to recognize the process of creativity. We reduce creativity to an identity or a personality rather than a trait everyone has and can express. The media often ignores everything that happened before the creative breakthrough and all the failures needed to reach the end result. And yeah, they’re going to put that person on a creative pedestal.
The result? The older you get, the more creative shame tends to bring you down. Aging people are less likely to express their creativity, identify as less creative, and feel more afraid of change and new ideas. It’s common to go through a transformation in life.
At age five, you were freely expressing your creativity, you didn’t limit yourself to one or a few creative hobbies, and you were open to try new things and to engage in creative play.
At age thirteen, you started thinking you had to limit yourself. You were only allowed to be creative in a specific niche, and you had to confine yourself to a set creative style.
At age 20, you thought creativity was either something you could spare time for on the weekends, or if you got lucky enough to land a creative job.
Age 65? Now, if you’re lucky, you’ll find your way back to a creative hobby, like crafts. But many never find the way back. They think it’s too late to learn, they wish they had been more creative in their youth…
In the world of personality tests, it’s often said that iNtuitives - a minority group, making up about 20% of the population- are creative.
Specifically, they say that INFPs are the artists. ENTPs are the Inventors. In the Big Five, Openness to experience is most associated with creativity, and in DiSC, the “Yellow” types are most creative. These are built on traditional “fixed mindset” ideas. They argue that creativity is a result of your personality. No, it’s the other way around.
I promise you this: Creative expression will transform your self-identity, and regular creative exercises will lead to an identity revolution. It’s going to change everything about how you see yourself and your life.
But anyone can be creative, and it is not enough to just have an idea. If you want to be creative, you have to express and share your ideas with the world. You can’t let ideas pop around in your head. You have to put a pen to the paper and do something with it. You have to learn to love your ideas - even when they smash against reality. Even when there’s no project budget. Even when there are a million excuses not to.
You can build a different relationship with your intuition and overcome your creative shame.
How to learn to love your creativity
When you feel creative shame arise, you can recognize it and even greet it. Hello, shame. Don’t worry, you’ve got nothing to feel ashamed about. Creativity is natural and human. New ideas have a right to exist. Ideas have a right to stand up and be expressed, even if flawed. Creativity can be discussed and expressed out loud. Criticism will not kill my ideas. Creative obstacles and mistakes are a healthy part of the process.
On the opposite spectrum of creative shame is creative love. Let your ideas be your babies. Learn to look at your ideas as babies that need love, support, and encouragement to grow. Don’t rush them, don’t put pressure on them to be more than what they are; let each idea become what it was meant to become. Let your first idea for a drawing be a stick figure or pure abstract color. Let your first project idea be a simple MVP.
And when other people are creative? For god’s sake. Don’t be the person who tries to shoot them down. Recognize your jealousy. You can reframe it as inspiration.
Let your first website be a buggy mess with poor contrast. One idea might have been intended as a starting point for another. One idea was meant to carry you halfway across the river. The next idea was meant to get you the rest of the way. Your ideas - your babies - have a right to be heard, and held. You can and should seek great creative conversations, where ideas are celebrated, laughed at, smiled at, and met with enthusiasm, curiosity, and constructive criticism. You should let your ideas evolve and mature. You shouldn’t get attached to the first form of an idea. Honor the soul of the idea - not the first draft of it.
Where intuition and the five senses meet, creativity reigns. Change is not an enemy of tradition. Without change, tradition would soon die and become outdated, and change is what keeps tradition fresh. Creativity and intuition can coexist peacefully with the established reality. But when intuition becomes something you lock inside your own head, when intuition becomes something relegated to a magical few, it begins to wither and die. When you tell yourself, “I need to think of an idea for a little bit longer,” you’re holding it prisoner to your own creative shame. And when you say, “I release you.” - that’s when creative magic happens.
I had a moment last night where I sat down and asked myself:
Should I express my ideas as they are?
Or should I compromise my ideas to fit in?
Should I stick to the old ways and conventions, because they’re the most popular?
Or should I let myself share something truly original I’ve been cooking up in my head for years?
I decided to give myself permission to be completely original. To stop dressing down my ideas. To stop hiding. And to start accepting my ideas, just the way that they are, come what may.
